The price of witnessing the grandeur of the Great Mystery is the sacrifice of one’s ego.
And it wasn't a pleasant or joyful feeling, but rather a journey of intensity that pushed the boundaries of how I understood the world and all of my failings in the attempt.
“The years have passed like swift draughts of sweet mead in lofty halls beyond the west.”
-J.R.R. Tolkien (The Lord of the Rings)
"I shouldn't have relied on the decency of people. But damned if that isn't a lesson I'm loathe to learn."
"Sacred ground. No one was touching anyone. But the point hovered aloft in the air, polluting the pure singularity of purpose intrinsic to the act of prayer."
"It was a battle of egos to see who would get to die the most heroically."
"One chance before I just burst into a random dwelling and went to sleep, maybe waking up bloody, but alive."
This would be a protest of epic proportions. And then they announced the victory.
Another 60 or so miles and we’d be stranded in the middle of nowhere. That’s when I saw the bears in the middle of the road.
That's right. I had a companion, a destination, and a call to action. I felt like Ewan McGregor in Trainspotting, begging "Just one more hit! Just one more fookin' hit!"
"...you can’t hold a soul in your hand like you can a gold nugget."
We braced and prepared for the worst. We went deep into the camp, the lights dim, the sticky hot air filled with the smell of musk, sweat and urine from banana rats.
Arrogance is an oily thing, greasing the passage of reality through the trembling fingers of people too afraid to wash it off.
So when I say that Costa Rican geography is awesome, I mean to say that you cannot grasp it fully at once, but rather in small, digestible portions.
"Ladies and gentlemen, it is my profound pleasure to introduce your next congressman and my good friend, Chris Fedalei."
Then put the car into gear, tires spinning as I sped toward the future and the common comforts of my home.
But as soon as he mentioned “muerte,” my kindness switched off and I grabbed my knife, my finger on the flicking mechanism, and turned to see a man with nothing to lose.
She tilted her head and her eyes began to widen, along with her smile, which slowly became more of a gesture of baring her teeth than it was a greeting.
It wasn’t about keeping up with those around us, but making sure we had what we needed, the rest going to friends, cold beer, and the big sky.
Pepper your life with enough events like this, maybe you can die happy.